Sunday, July 24, 2011

More - 51 days left

I realize that I am only a little more than 10 weeks into my new healthy way of living, incorporating nutritious eating with vigorous exercise.  However, with each passing Sunday as a day off from the exercise aspect of my routine, I feel that my day is somehow incomplete without it.  I know my body needs rest and it is good for me, but my mind keeps saying, "Karen, you should be doing more.  Much more.".

Perhaps this is due to the low self esteem I have had at times regarding my endeavors.  Or the constant nagging reminder in the back of my mind that on day 67 I have only lost 20 lbs instead of my goal of 56 lbs I thought I would have lost by this point.  Or the realization that in less than 10 days, I will be off to Georgia to visit my family and friends with the all powering food temptations not available in Minnesota such as Chick-fil-AZaxby's and Long Horn Steak House.  How many more calories should I be actively be burning right now to be able to indulge a little then?

And as I think about my trip, my mind then flashes forward to the week when I return from Georgia.  What will I weigh?  What if I gain weight?  Then I will have back tracked on an already slow course.  And worst of all, what will people say?  Will they roll their eyes at the girl that set out to lose a 100 lbs in 118 days and think "I knew she couldn't do it"?  Or will they just flat out feel sorry for me because all I have done for the last two months for every waking hour of everyday is think about what I eat and how much I exercise and I have moved practically no where?

But before I let my mind spin anymore out of control that it already has, I remind myself about what I have done.  I have lost 20 lbs and 20 lbs isn't that bad.  I have adopted better eating habits and no longer crave sweets as I did before.  And I have not traveled to Georgia yet for my vacation.  So why worry about what I will face there for countless hours?  I have planned to exercise daily while I am there.  My parents have already agreed to get some of the items I will need to do my workouts together for me.  I also know that my mom wants me to succeed and will not feed me junk while I am there.  My friend, Missy, whom I will also visit while in Georgia, has even asked me if what she is making for dinner on the night I see her is "acceptable" because she is a great friend and wants me to be successful as well.  I have done the best I can do to prepare to have a trip free of bad eating and no exercise.  All I can do now is just apply my plan when I go.

So now that I have reeled myself back in to better thinking, I look toward this next week expecting much success.  On the docket tomorrow will be crossfit at 6 a.m. and the kickboxing tomorrow evening with a lot of good eating choices in the middle.  I also probably won't have a lot of time for any negative thinking tomorrow as I am watching my friends three children for the bulk of the day tomorrow along with my four children and then two more children tomorrow afternoon for another friend.  But if I do catch a brief moment to myself, I will do my best to remind myself, "If I don't quit, I win".  After all, I am a champion.

Romans 8:37 (New International Version) - No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

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