Perhaps this is due to the low self esteem I have had at times regarding my endeavors. Or the constant nagging reminder in the back of my mind that on day 67 I have only lost 20 lbs instead of my goal of 56 lbs I thought I would have lost by this point. Or the realization that in less than 10 days, I will be off to Georgia to visit my family and friends with the all powering food temptations not available in Minnesota such as Chick-fil-A, Zaxby's and Long Horn Steak House. How many more calories should I be actively be burning right now to be able to indulge a little then?
And as I think about my trip, my mind then flashes forward to the week when I return from Georgia. What will I weigh? What if I gain weight? Then I will have back tracked on an already slow course. And worst of all, what will people say? Will they roll their eyes at the girl that set out to lose a 100 lbs in 118 days and think "I knew she couldn't do it"? Or will they just flat out feel sorry for me because all I have done for the last two months for every waking hour of everyday is think about what I eat and how much I exercise and I have moved practically no where?
But before I let my mind spin anymore out of control that it already has, I remind myself about what I have done. I have lost 20 lbs and 20 lbs isn't that bad. I have adopted better eating habits and no longer crave sweets as I did before. And I have not traveled to Georgia yet for my vacation. So why worry about what I will face there for countless hours? I have planned to exercise daily while I am there. My parents have already agreed to get some of the items I will need to do my workouts together for me. I also know that my mom wants me to succeed and will not feed me junk while I am there. My friend, Missy, whom I will also visit while in Georgia, has even asked me if what she is making for dinner on the night I see her is "acceptable" because she is a great friend and wants me to be successful as well. I have done the best I can do to prepare to have a trip free of bad eating and no exercise. All I can do now is just apply my plan when I go.
So now that I have reeled myself back in to better thinking, I look toward this next week expecting much success. On the docket tomorrow will be crossfit at 6 a.m. and the kickboxing tomorrow evening with a lot of good eating choices in the middle. I also probably won't have a lot of time for any negative thinking tomorrow as I am watching my friends three children for the bulk of the day tomorrow along with my four children and then two more children tomorrow afternoon for another friend. But if I do catch a brief moment to myself, I will do my best to remind myself, "If I don't quit, I win". After all, I am a champion.