Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Correction - 56 days left

Yesterday at crossfit, we spent a good deal of time working on our form for push-ups and then did what seemed to be about 1000 of them before the day was out.  Today it was squats.  Believe it or not, push-ups are actually easier for me, so I wasn't thrilled when I was being "corrected" on my form.  I know it is all done to help me complete a squat in the perfect way.  However, some things are still impossible for me at this point, like squeezing my gluts and hamstrings when I am in the squatting position.  Therefore, instructional sessions can become frustrating at times for me because I am not yet in as good as shape as someone like Jillian Michaels.  Yet I endured it all and did actually improve my squat somewhat before we were done with the short tutorial.  And afterwards, I went on to lift my best weight so far on a press.

"Correction".  The very word makes me cringe.  I hate hearing it.  And even if I come to find the person correcting me is "correct", I still seem to have problems accepting it at times.  I would be sure that some would even correct that statement and say I have problems accepting correction ALL the time.

I thought about why that is.  Why do I have such a problem with receiving correction even if it will help me to be better?  The only answer that I could come to is  - Pride.  Yes folks, believe it or not even though I am an overweight, mom of four and have been embarrassed countless times throughout my life due to my obesity, I still have pride.  And the area that I have pride in the most is in the area of correction.

How could anyone possibly know more than I do?  I am Karen True after all.  And since you haven't personally walked in my shoes, how could you know what I need to do, much less have the nerve to suggest it?  My squat isn't low enough to the ground and I need to work on pushing further back than forward?  Well, I know you wouldn't even be asking me to do it better if you had more than 100 lbs of extra weigh hanging off you buddy.  I should be happy that I have gained muscle over the past few weeks?  Not once have I EVER heard anyone say, "Oh, she is soooo attractive with those BIG muscles".  And yet, all of the above phrases are constructive and helpful to keep me moving forward toward a better life.  They are criticism surrounded by encouragement of "You can do this better Karen".

I am NOT, however, talking about phrases like: "You have such pretty face.  If you lost weight, you would be so very beautiful."  Or after waking up at 5 a.m. to make it to a job or workout with no makeup and hair pulled back in a ponytail, "Oh, I guess you just gave up on the whole makeup and fixing your hair thing.".  Or an alleged "friend" sits you down and says, "I have seen a change in you over the last several months and I can't quite name what it is, but until YOU figure it out, I can no longer be around you.".  These are not words of correction that help anyone become better or feel better other than perhaps the person saying them trying to cut you down to size.

Over the past two months, I have received many words or correction and the majority were of the former examples.  Helpful and not condescending or mean.  And to all of you who have said those words, "Thank you", even though I might not have been to happy to hear them at the exact moment I read or heard them.  I know I am becoming a better person due to constructive criticism.  I am doing my best to take the correction and apply it.  Friends like you have made a difference in my life!!!  And because of great correction, I will now complete a better squat, feel better about having stronger muscles and hang in there to keep going in the right direction.

And finally, I want to thank everyone who has "Bought Me a Smoothie" so far.  This is helping me to fund a lot of my journey and I truly appreciate your support!!

Proverbs 17:17 (The Message) - Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.

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