Another nice surprise about crossfit is how very supportive everyone has been. It is nice to be seen as someone who is hardworking and determined, instead of the fat girl who is just lazy and weak as most everyone else in the world treats people like me. I had honestly expected the same from this group when I first started. To be seen as the overweight, thirty something girl who had interrupted the flow of the class and was sure to slow someone down if placed in a group challenge.
However, I have experienced the direct opposite. Everyone who I have been in a class with on a consistent basis always has something nice to say about my progress. Some have gone further offering advice of how I might do something better or what they have learned over time. When I have had a slow weight loss week or a gain like this week, never just a shrug saying "Too bad", but rather "Well, I can see a big change, so keep going". One of the guys today said, "I have never seen you have a bad day". I said, "thank you" even though I was thinking, "that is because you aren't in here on some of my bad weigh days buddy". I wonder if I had known that people could be genuinely kind and supportive and I could experience that in a gym setting of all places, how much faster I would have gotten up, shook off the dust and put myself in motion toward a healthier way of life?
So here I am on day 59, losing only 16 pounds so far. To be on track total weight loss should be above 50 pounds. Yet, I am fine with the 16 pounds. It is 16 pounds more than I would have lost if I would have done nothing. I cannot begin to describe how much stronger I am now compared to day one. I am also quite sure that I didn't even feel this good physically 15 years ago. And for the first time in an extremely long time, despite weighing in at 294 lbs, I finally feel happy about being me.