Chocolate chip cookies are my favorite. However, in the last 12 days I haven't looked at any of them, bought any of them or tasted any of them. Avoidance has been my coping mechanism when it comes to those wonderful, chocolaty cookie bites. Today my son asked me if I would please buy some those tasty temptations when I left to go to grocery store. "Not a problem," I confidently thought as I headed out the door. "The kids haven't had any cookies in a while and it would be nice to get them a treat."
So off to Cub Foods I went. After all, their bakery makes the best chocolate chip cookies known to man. I did my regular shopping and then made sure I picked up some and added them to my cart. Magically, as if the cookies themselves knew how much I love them, they seemed to start calling my name the moment I scanned my card in the checkout line. When I got to my van to load the groceries, the bag containing them fell open just enough for me to see the decadent bites of heaven. In the past, I would have loaded them in the front seat so I could snack on one or two or three or four on the way home. But today, I placed them in the empty infant car seat holder in the back seat directly behind the driver seat to make sure my hands could not get to them. Once I was home, my three year old daughter met me at the door and exclaimed, "What did you get for us mommy?!?". I handed her the bag and told her to make sure to share with her brothers. She ran up the stairs and was on her way with the container. "Finally!", I thought. "My temptation has ended. I have made it."
A few hours later, found myself sitting here at the computer to call my sister back about shoes for my girls. While speaking with her, I glanced to my left and there they were. Two, scrumptious chocolate chip cookies left in the container from earlier after my daughter, two sons and husband had their taste. Oh, how I wanted the cookies so bad. "Just one." I thought. "No one has to know. I won't hurt me that much. I have two more days before I have to weigh again. I can just work a little harder in my exercising over the next couple of days." The cookies were calling me. They were looking at me. I felt like Adam Sandler in the movie Billy Madison where he is sitting there in his ornate bathtub with its gold swan fixture and he looks at it and says, "Stop looking at me swan!". I felt the same way. "Stop looking at my cookies!" I couldn't cope. I didn't know what to do. So, I did the only brave thing I could think of. I went upstairs to my room and took a nap because I knew they would be gone by the time I got up again.
I know. It sounds so pathetic to have such a battle over something as little as a cookie. How could I have gotten to this place? A cookie for heaven sake!!! I practically fell apart at the mere temptation to eat a cookie. And the only reason I didn't eat it over and over again was NOT because I didn't want to eat it. Only because I knew that I would be writing my blog this evening and someone would read it and know the truth. No wonder they say that accountability when you are trying to lose weight is the most proven method of success. Without being accountable to my readers, I would have failed so many times already.
So thank you! Thank you for reading just one time or everyday. It took you to help me to succeed 12 days in a row, instead of failing three days into my journey like I had done so many times before. And I know to some or possibly many, this much of a battle with a cookie seems to be rather ridiculous. Perhaps. However, the score remains: Karen - 1, Chocolate Chip Cookies - 0. :)