Sally - 81 days left

If I had to pick one character from a movie that was most like my personality, it would be Sally from the movie "When Harry Met Sally".  One of my favorites.  Perhaps because I feel that I can relate to her so much.  During the movie Sally finds out that her boyfriend that she broke up with not too long ago is going to marry someone else.  As she cries to Harry about her heartbreak, she says to Harry, "And I'm going to be 40!".   At this point in the movie, Sally is only 32.  Yet she makes it part of her argument anyway.

I have a tendency to be that way at times too.  I am not sure if it is how my brain is wired or how my personality has developed over my lifetime or a little of both.  However, if you gave someone a pen and asked them to write down five qualities about me, I guarantee you that being dramatic at times would be on their list.  And today was no exception.

As I stood at my workout this morning getting prepared to go through the circuit, I explained to my instructor that I was not trying to be a baby.  However, today my knees just weren't able to handle running 800 meters three separate times and I would need to do the rowing machine instead.  Of course, to him that was not a problem at all.  It was just a lower impact alternative to running.  Yet to me, it was an absolute disaster.  It was the first time I have asked for something to be modified.  Every other time, the instructor has directed me to do a modified version  when there are advanced components to the workout.  Forget that I actually had just run a full 200 meters during the warm up, which I have never done before today.  No!  Tragedy had struck because I now needed to use the rowing machine.

Same thing again at the end of the workout after I came in LAST place.  They wanted to take some pictures of the group doing bar squats for the website.  While I am happy with my progress, I am still am not at the place of wanting my picture taken.  I agreed to be in the back part of the group for the first set of pictures.  However, when they went on to do box jumps, which I can't do either, I told them that I need to go ahead and head home to my children.  As I got into my van, I thought about how that was the most spoiled way I had acted in years.

When I arrived home, I managed about the same way and no matter who I talked to throughout my day, not one person was saying the right thing.  And no one was really saying anything that wrong either.  My friend, Michelle, used to always make me laugh when she would say "Save the drama for your mama".  Today I didn't heed her advice.  And if I did, I am sure that my mama wouldn't have wanted to hear me either.

And so my attitude today did not fare well.  I am disappointed that some days I am not a rock of stability like I would like to be.  Did I try my best?  I am not sure.  Maybe if I did, things would have come together differently.  Thankfully, in a few hours this chapter will close and a new one will start tomorrow.  Thankfully, God's mercies are new every morning.

Romans 7:19-21 (The Message) - I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.