Monday, June 27, 2011

Danger, Will Robinson - 78 days left

Night out with the girls.  This was my first one since I started my weight loss journey almost 6 weeks ago.  I was nervous about going.  I wish I could have taken on the attitude of Simba in the Lion King and say, “I laugh in the face of danger”.  However, there was no laughing on my end of things.  Yes, I wanted to see my friends.  However, I was worried that they wouldn’t see a difference in me since I started.  And after the pregnancy comment the other night at church, I REALLY needed them to see a difference.  Thankfully, they did and I could breathe a sigh of relief. 

Now to the other “dangerous” part about an evening out – EATING.  We were at a Mexican restaurant which usually means fat, fat, calories and more fat.  However, I think I faired pretty well.  I had grilled chicken tacos and only two of them.  They were topped with lettuce, tomato and a drizzle of sour cream.  I know the tortilla shell is the kicker, so I counted that as my splurge for the week.  And after I finished, I was not stuffed, so I believe my portion size was well judged.  I skipped the salsa bar.  I know the salsa part would be fine.  However, the chips that you put the salsa on once they hit my lips would not have stopped after five, ten or twenty and so zero had to be my number of choice.  Surprisingly, I was fine with not eating any.  In the past, I know I would have thought that sacrifice in itself would have ruined part of my evening.  Yet tonight, it didn’t seem like a very large forfeit.  And even though a lot of my focus was on what I ate, it wasn’t the center point of my thoughts as I had wondered before I left this evening.

Crossfit also went well this morning.  I find that on some days I can actually keep up pretty well and fall into the middle of the group when it comes to reps in a timed circuit.  I also used the 35 lb bar today instead of the 25 lb bar when doing lifts which was an improvement from last time.   The greatest improvement for me today was when the countdown started to happen before the whistle was blown, I felt myself speeding up to get in the maximum amount of reps possible.  My muscles are sore this evening, but I know the workout I did today was me at my best for right now.

So, I made it.  I was able to work out this morning and then go out with my friends this evening and have fun without having to overeat to do so.  To some of you, that might seem like a silly thing to say.  However, for me, eating a lot and making sure that I eat the richest, cheesiest food possible along with a dessert at the end has been my benchmark.  Without that element of going out, then something would have been missing or lost during the evening.  Yet tonight, I knew that I was doing more for myself by caring about what I ate for my long term goals.  I wish I could have come to this place years ago.  However, I will be happy that at least now I know I can do it and keep to my commitment to myself.   And next time I go out with friend, perhaps then I will be able to laugh in the face of danger.

Psalm 23:4 (New American Standard Bible) - Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

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