Saturday, June 25, 2011

Do it Afraid - 80 days left

Migraine headaches.  About once a month I suffer from one and this morning I woke up with one of them.   In the past, my solution, other than Tylenol, had been Turtle Mocha's from Caribou, Mello Yello or a large sweet tea from McDonald's or ChickfilA.  However, since I have been committed to eliminating sugar from my diet, I knew that could no longer be a solution.  Four Tylenol and a three hour nap later, I was fine.  It just put a dent in to my day.

Then we were off to church.  I had enjoyed getting ready tonight.  My face looked thinner as I applied the pretty makeup my husband got me for my birthday.  My pants that I wore about a month ago were much baggier in the my thighs.  My jacket was looser in the arms.  Even my knee high hose were looser on my legs.  I dropped off my three year old and five year old like normal at there classrooms.  When I got to my one year old's class I told the teacher she was now walking, which meant a classroom change for her.  Before I left the drop off window, the very nice lady said, "It has been a while since I have seen you Karen.  Your hair has gotten so long.  Are you pregnant again?"  WONDERFUL!!!!  Then, of course, comes the embarrassing conversation about how I am not pregnant.  And besides the obvious weight aspect of it all, I also had to explain how I can no longer get pregnant again even though I would like too.  In the past, I would have been more upset than I was this evening.  However, since I am making strides to lose weight, it didn't bother as much as in the past.  I still wasn't floating on cloud nine as I walked away, but I wasn't bursting into tears and off to the nearest ladies room either.

I finally dropped the last child off and then it was to the information counter for me to work with my husband.  When I got to him, I asked him if he was OK because he didn't look very happy.  He said he was fine.  He was just a little bored waiting on me to get there.  I said, "Well at least someone hasn't asked you if you were pregnant".  He said, "Well now you'll have something to discuss in your blog tonight".   Oh, the silver lining!  Yes, it was so very worth someone mistaking me as being pregnant so I would have a blog topic this evening!!!

Yet as we went into service and I heard Jesse Duplantis tonight for the first time in a long time, I soon got over it all.  No it is not fun being thought of as pregnant when you are not.  And I guess the best thing I can say about it all is maybe that next time I see her I guess instead of looking 6 months pregnant, maybe I'll only look 3 months pregnant instead.  But I am getting healthier everyday.  I am feeling so much better.  My clothes feel different when I put them on.  And each week there is a lower number staring back at me on that scale.

I was also richly blessed today by some of my friends.  My friend, Monica, sent me a new workout video.  My friend, Cari, sent me a gift card to Target so I can go and buy weights or whatever I think my help me keep moving forward on my journey.  And my friend, Julie, sent me an email tonight saying that she would like to sponsor me in my first 5K in the next couple of months.

Yes, I am afraid to do a 5K.  Those are what skinny people do.  I won't be skinny in 2 months.  Even if I lose 100 lbs, I won't be skinny.  However, as soon as I thought about saying no, I thought about what Joyce Meyers says, "Do it afraid".  And that is what I will do concerning the 5K.  I will do it afraid.  After all, that is how we overcome our fears and negative thoughts.  We go out there an do it anyway, even when we feel like we can't.  I have already had to approach crossfit that way.  The 5K is just the next challenge and there will be many more after that.  I will do it afraid today and the next because there will always been new challenges.  There will always be new goals to set for myself as I continue my new lifestyle.

Isaiah 54:4a (The Message) - Don't be afraid—you're not going to be embarrassed.  Don't hold back—you're not going to come up short.

2 comments:

  1. Granted I wasn't there, but I experienced the pregnant comment as a compliment. Why? Because she picked up on e fact that sooooomething was different about you even though she couldn't put her finger on it.. And it was a good something. :-) A change in hair? A joyful event? Some sort of happier glow..... That's the thing with a pregnancy. There is this happy feeling that radiates, that permeates us, because we are priviledged to be the bearers of a transformation, a new body being built cell by cell as this cherished gift of the Divine, a miracle in the making! So she got it wrong in the literal sense, but maybe not the metaphorical one. But she couldn't not notice that "something's different" feeling. And THAT is why it sounds like a compliment to me. ;-)

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  2. Thanks Barbara! I can totally see what you are saying!!

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