I have a condition. Today I learned its name, Gym Phobic. No. Nothing life threatening or requiring treatment. Nothing that I can attend a support group to overcome. Most definitely something Jay Leno and David Letterman would be sure to make fun of if they knew about it. What am I talking about? Fear of going to the gym.
Since I have begun my weight lost journey 20 days ago, I have been blessed not only by many wonderful comments and words of encouragement, but also materially. Two of my friends that have been following my blog have purchased workout videos for me: Jillian Michaels - 30 day Shred and The Biggest Loser - 30 Day Jumpstart. And one of my blog readers has blessed me with a membership to Crossfit Twin Cities not too far away from where I live. However, I have to say that I have not taken advantage of the crossfit training yet. Why? Because I am afraid to go and be with a group of people that I don't know and have to sweat and do exercise in front of them. I am sure that it sounds pretty lame and juvenile, but that is the truth.
When I kicked off my "new life" three weeks ago, you might remember that the first day I went to my HomeMakers group and had a group workout with Dustin Maher. I was actually very apprehensive to do this as well. Yet I go over myself and went anyway because I knew my environment was "safe" and no matter how ridiculous I looked as I participated, no one would cast judgement. It turns out that this was a great blessing to me as well because Dustin gave me one of his video sets that I have used 16 of my 20 days. However, I have been able to attend the crossfit now for a week and haven't taken advantage due to my phobia.
So tomorrow is that day. The day I get over my phobia, get up in the morning and go. I have already talked to the lady on the phone this afternoon and they know I am coming. I also just told all of you that will expect to hear all about it in my blog tomorrow. Yes, I am still very nervous and hope, since I am going at 6 o'clock in the morning, that it will be a minimal group. Preferably other moms. I also hope that I will be able to do the majority of the exercises because my agility has gone in the toilet since I now weigh so very much and I am unable to do even simple jumping jacks. I am not at the place of being afraid that I will die trying to do it anymore. Yet if I do (as the person who blessed me with the lessons said), at least he will have only paid for one month because there is no contract. :)
The theme for my HomeMakers group two years ago was "Do My Best While Being My Best". That is what I will apply tomorrow and the next day and the next when I go. The best I can do is go and workout as hard as I can and do my very best at each exercise. I might not be as good as Jillian Michaels herself, but it will be MY best. And right now, that is more important that being THE best. I am confident that being Gym Phobic will go away in the weeks and months to come. Yet today, it is me doing my best despite being a Gym Phobic.