Gloom, despair and agony on me. That is how I felt this morning as I awoke at 5:15 for my 6 AM workout. This was the finish of my first full Monday thru Friday workout week at crossfit and I felt it. I didn't doubt that I would make it there, but I did wonder if I would be able to make it through. The last time I really worked out on a consistent basis was when I was 23. And I as I am sure anyone my age knows, 38 is not 23.
So with sore muscles from head to toe I went. I challenged myself when I was there and I succeeded. Today for the second time this week, I was NOT the last to finish. Actually, I finished the circuit before four other people today. This also meant that I actually had time to breathe a little bit before we went to the next exercise to finish up. At the end of class, I was talking to the trainer for this week. He was filling in for the usual trainer who is on his honeymoon. This weeks trainer saw me for the first time on Monday. He reaffirmed what my fellow student had told to me yesterday when he said he could tell a difference just this week. The trainer also took it a step further and told me that most of the time when people come in, in my "situation", they make a thousand excuses of why they can't do what everyone else is doing and don't really try. He told me that was not me at all. He acknowledged how hard I work everyday and try everything I can and don't give up before the very end. Wow! What a boost to my confidence! Turns out that I am not the joke of the class as I feared on day one at all. I wonder what the regular trainer will have to say when he sees me on Monday for the first time in a week?
I must also share that my little girl's birthday cake has called my name more than on time today. However, even with its nagging cries, I have ignored it completely eating only my regular meals. I think the combination of knowing that I have to call my friend Pam if I get out of control and also the grossness of spitting out the Oreo cookie in the trash the other day has kept me from it. I also feel that knowing that I am succeeding at crossfit makes me want to stay on track more too.
Now all my body needs to do is start to release the skinny girl within. I know she is in there somewhere. When will she arrive? I don't know. And she is making her appearance much slower than I thought when I first started all of this a month ago. Yet until she arrives, it is my job to "go to the mattresses". I must fight daily to succeed. I must fight to win!
Never, never, never, never give up. - Winston Churchill