Box Jumps. I have been attempting them since day one of CrossFit and still do not look forward to them each time they are assigned. Yes, for me there really is no "jumping". I am not able to jump at my current weight. Box jumps are modified to more of a "box step-up", if you will, when I do them. Similar to what was taught back when step aerobics was popular. And like what was taught in step aerobics, I alternate my lead foot each round.
As I read my WOD (workout of the day) on the board today, I honestly didn't feel as though I would be overly challenged, especially after Saturday.
- 400 meters on rowing machine
- Dips - as many as you can do before you need a break (this means about 10 for me)
- Box Jumps or Steps for me - as many as you can do in 30 seconds (picture below)
The goal was to do as many rounds as possible in 20 minutes. Based on the amount of time it takes me to go 400 meters on the rowing machine, I figured I should be able to do about five rounds with no problem.
I started out rowing at a pretty good pace. It was about 20 seconds slower than what I have been doing to try and beat my time of 400 meters in 2 minutes, but still a good pace. I then went and did my dips with no problem. Afterwards it was off to box steps to complete my first round. First step up fine. Second step up fine. On the third step up, I didn't quite step up high enough by which kicking the top edge of the box, stumbling over the top and jerking myself around trying not to land on one of the other boxes or people around me. I did catch myself. However, I also really scared myself.
Unfortunately, I am not stranger to falling. In the past three years, I have fallen down the stairs at my house five times. I have fallen off a sidewalk while putting things into my car and twisted my ankle terribly at an outdoor shopping center. And I have also fallen on my front sidewalk at my house while NO snow was on the ground and no other obstruction present. Each time I have hurt myself pretty good and one time I even required the use of crutches while I was healing.
So when I went flying over the top of the box this morning, not only did it not feel good, it also made all of my other "falling" memories flash into my mind. I paused for about five seconds thinking I would just take my next step and move on, when I just psychologically lost it and walked away. For the first time EVER since I began CrossFit, I had walked away from the WOD. As I did, I began to cry. Not only because I had just scared myself, but also because I was a failure at completing what I had set out to do. My trainer came and checked on me to make sure that I was OK. And I while I was a little hurt from all of my twisting around, mostly it was my feelings that were hurt more. He encouraged me to just take a breath and keep going. And so I did. I only completed four rounds, but I didn't quit.
The first time I drove after getting my learners license I will never forget riding down the road and my dad telling me to turn into the next subdivision. It was my first turn ever after going about 45 mph and I knew that I should slow down some before turning, but I didn't want to come to a complete stop either. I ended up turning into the subdivision at about 35 mph, our poor Dodge Caravan lifting off the ground somewhat before I slammed on the breaks and burst into tears. After giving me a few moments to get over it, my dad had me turn the van around and drive back home. He did it so my last memory of driving would not be the horrific turn I had made possibly hurting us both, but the memory of the better ride home and slower turn would be there instead.
That principle is why I decided not to quit today at CrossFit after my trainer encouraged me to keep going. I needed to do more box steps to know that I could do them and remove the huge image of falling from the forefront of my mind. Of course, I did them a little slower than I have in the past to make sure my foot was more than high enough to land on the top of the box. And because of this, I ended up doing three additional rounds of the WOD instead of just one. I was also able to go back to kickboxing this evening which I really enjoyed. I felt like my punches were better than ever! I also considered making a new goal today for CrossFit which will be to go one week without crying while I am there. :)
Today I learned that the real tragedy was not tripping over the box. The tragedy would have been if I wouldn't have kept going. And because I kept going, I not only completed my WOD. I acted like a champion.