I have a condition. Today I learned its name, Gym Phobic. No. Nothing life threatening or requiring treatment. Nothing that I can attend a support group to overcome. Most definitely something Jay Leno and David Letterman would be sure to make fun of if they knew about it. What am I talking about? Fear of going to the gym.
Since I have begun my weight lost journey 20 days ago, I have been blessed not only by many wonderful comments and words of encouragement, but also materially. Two of my friends that have been following my blog have purchased workout videos for me: Jillian Michaels - 30 day Shred and The Biggest Loser - 30 Day Jumpstart. And one of my blog readers has blessed me with a membership to Crossfit Twin Cities not too far away from where I live. However, I have to say that I have not taken advantage of the crossfit training yet. Why? Because I am afraid to go and be with a group of people that I don't know and have to sweat and do exercise in front of them. I am sure that it sounds pretty lame and juvenile, but that is the truth.
When I kicked off my "new life" three weeks ago, you might remember that the first day I went to my HomeMakers group and had a group workout with Dustin Maher. I was actually very apprehensive to do this as well. Yet I go over myself and went anyway because I knew my environment was "safe" and no matter how ridiculous I looked as I participated, no one would cast judgement. It turns out that this was a great blessing to me as well because Dustin gave me one of his video sets that I have used 16 of my 20 days. However, I have been able to attend the crossfit now for a week and haven't taken advantage due to my phobia.
So tomorrow is that day. The day I get over my phobia, get up in the morning and go. I have already talked to the lady on the phone this afternoon and they know I am coming. I also just told all of you that will expect to hear all about it in my blog tomorrow. Yes, I am still very nervous and hope, since I am going at 6 o'clock in the morning, that it will be a minimal group. Preferably other moms. I also hope that I will be able to do the majority of the exercises because my agility has gone in the toilet since I now weigh so very much and I am unable to do even simple jumping jacks. I am not at the place of being afraid that I will die trying to do it anymore. Yet if I do (as the person who blessed me with the lessons said), at least he will have only paid for one month because there is no contract. :)
The theme for my HomeMakers group two years ago was "Do My Best While Being My Best". That is what I will apply tomorrow and the next day and the next when I go. The best I can do is go and workout as hard as I can and do my very best at each exercise. I might not be as good as Jillian Michaels herself, but it will be MY best. And right now, that is more important that being THE best. I am confident that being Gym Phobic will go away in the weeks and months to come. Yet today, it is me doing my best despite being a Gym Phobic.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Baby Steps - 99 days left
The past several weeks my eleven month old has begun taking small, wobbly steps. The most she has taken in a row is about four. Today she decided to conquer our stairs and climb all the way up with no assistance. She is getting stronger every day as she continues to practice.
When it comes to exercise, I am like an eleven month old baby too. A few weeks ago when I first started, it was all I could do to make it through my exercises. However, today I can actually feel the muscles, especially in my legs, are stronger. And even though I have only lost 6 pounds total to date, my clothes are even starting to fit better already. Meaning my jeans have gone from skin tight, like someone poured me into them to actually looking decent when I wear them. By the time I take my jeans off, they are actually a little loose from the stretching they have done all day. As I workout, I can tell that I do have a much better form and can keep up with the videos about 90% of the time. I can also see a shift in my attitude to the "I am worth it" mentality opposed to "I wish I had time for me" way of thinking.
Today things were challenging for me because I only had about three hours of sleep last night. My plan to rest some during the day did not come to pass, which then equaled a LARGE Turtle from Caribou accompanied with two Extra Strength Tylenol to help keep me going. Honestly, my plan for this evening until about two hours ago was to go to bed early, skip the exercise and blog by way of osmosis. Yet because of the "baby steps" I have been taking over the last two plus weeks, I put on my "I am worth it" hat and exercised and am now writing my blog anyway.
"Baby Steps". A silly application that I learned from the movie What about Bob?. No. I am not psychotic like the main character of the movie, Bob Wiley. Yet anyone can still take this basic message and apply it to most anything. Bob is an obsessive compulsive personality and seeks help from his psychiatrist, Dr. Leo Marvin. Dr. Marvin encourages Bob to take "baby steps" to overcome his different phobias and is so very confident that this method will work, he has even written a book about it. Bob struggles with even simple things like getting on an elevator, but by applying the method of "baby steps" he starts to rise above his paranoia. "Baby step to the elevator. I'm in the elevator. AHHHHHH!!!"
"Baby Steps" each day have helped me to surmount so many excuses that I would have used in the past. "Baby Steps" has helped me to rise above the temptation to do it tomorrow. And at the end of all of these days I have ahead of me, "Baby Steps" will help me to triumph over all that has defeated me before.
When it comes to exercise, I am like an eleven month old baby too. A few weeks ago when I first started, it was all I could do to make it through my exercises. However, today I can actually feel the muscles, especially in my legs, are stronger. And even though I have only lost 6 pounds total to date, my clothes are even starting to fit better already. Meaning my jeans have gone from skin tight, like someone poured me into them to actually looking decent when I wear them. By the time I take my jeans off, they are actually a little loose from the stretching they have done all day. As I workout, I can tell that I do have a much better form and can keep up with the videos about 90% of the time. I can also see a shift in my attitude to the "I am worth it" mentality opposed to "I wish I had time for me" way of thinking.
Today things were challenging for me because I only had about three hours of sleep last night. My plan to rest some during the day did not come to pass, which then equaled a LARGE Turtle from Caribou accompanied with two Extra Strength Tylenol to help keep me going. Honestly, my plan for this evening until about two hours ago was to go to bed early, skip the exercise and blog by way of osmosis. Yet because of the "baby steps" I have been taking over the last two plus weeks, I put on my "I am worth it" hat and exercised and am now writing my blog anyway.
"Baby Steps". A silly application that I learned from the movie What about Bob?. No. I am not psychotic like the main character of the movie, Bob Wiley. Yet anyone can still take this basic message and apply it to most anything. Bob is an obsessive compulsive personality and seeks help from his psychiatrist, Dr. Leo Marvin. Dr. Marvin encourages Bob to take "baby steps" to overcome his different phobias and is so very confident that this method will work, he has even written a book about it. Bob struggles with even simple things like getting on an elevator, but by applying the method of "baby steps" he starts to rise above his paranoia. "Baby step to the elevator. I'm in the elevator. AHHHHHH!!!"
"Baby Steps" each day have helped me to surmount so many excuses that I would have used in the past. "Baby Steps" has helped me to rise above the temptation to do it tomorrow. And at the end of all of these days I have ahead of me, "Baby Steps" will help me to triumph over all that has defeated me before.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
100 days left
One hundred days left. Isn't there supposed to be a popcorn party on this day? No wait! That is when you have gone one hundred days, like the 100th day of school. However, the memory of my popcorn fiasco still lingers with me currently and I don't think it will be leaving anytime soon, so my guess is a popcorn party would be out of the question for that day as well. :)
Yet ironically, even though I became so ill on Thursday from popcorn and a turtle mocha, it didn't stop me from really wanting another Turtle from Caribou yesterday. And today, as I was watching television that Betty Crocker Chocolate Cake commercial and all of the things you can make with that box of chocolate cake mix never looked so good. I must say that I never imagined that I would be this addicted to sweets. Sweets are not even my "go to" snack food. I would so much rather crunch away on chips. Still here I am at day 18 and find myself craving cookies, cake, chocolate and the like. In fact, I not only crave it. I imagine eating it. I picture what every delicious, decadent bite would be like. Yes people, it is just that pathetic. What is wrong with me? How can I be so captivated by sugar? I decided to look it up.
In 2009, a man named Robert Lustig, who is a specialist in leading pediatric hormone disorders, gave a lecture called "Sugar: The Bitter Truth". In it he calls sugar "evil", "poison" and "toxic". Slashfood.com post an article stating that "sugar has been found to be more addicting than cocaine". Several other sights reference a variety of studies with rats that show sugar is not only addicting, but the rats continued to want more and more sugar as time passed. And with all of these studies, what is the only advice experts can give to stop the cravings? Stop eating the sugar. If that is not a "well, duh" statement, I don't know what is. From what I read, there is no indication of how long it might last or if it will ever even go away. To me, there was a little undertone of there is no guarantee, but this is the best thing they know to say. Lovely! Not the message I was hoping to take away with me this beautiful, Sunday afternoon.
Nonetheless, I will keep plugging along with eating healthy and exercising daily. I am not the first person that has struggled with change and I certainly won't be the last. Yes, it is hard. Very hard some days. And no, "hard" is not the four letter word of the Bible, even though some people treat it like it is. I know that God desires for me to be healthy, even though it is hard getting there. 1 Corinthians 9:24b - Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. I am running to win! I will be victorious!!
Yet ironically, even though I became so ill on Thursday from popcorn and a turtle mocha, it didn't stop me from really wanting another Turtle from Caribou yesterday. And today, as I was watching television that Betty Crocker Chocolate Cake commercial and all of the things you can make with that box of chocolate cake mix never looked so good. I must say that I never imagined that I would be this addicted to sweets. Sweets are not even my "go to" snack food. I would so much rather crunch away on chips. Still here I am at day 18 and find myself craving cookies, cake, chocolate and the like. In fact, I not only crave it. I imagine eating it. I picture what every delicious, decadent bite would be like. Yes people, it is just that pathetic. What is wrong with me? How can I be so captivated by sugar? I decided to look it up.
In 2009, a man named Robert Lustig, who is a specialist in leading pediatric hormone disorders, gave a lecture called "Sugar: The Bitter Truth". In it he calls sugar "evil", "poison" and "toxic". Slashfood.com post an article stating that "sugar has been found to be more addicting than cocaine". Several other sights reference a variety of studies with rats that show sugar is not only addicting, but the rats continued to want more and more sugar as time passed. And with all of these studies, what is the only advice experts can give to stop the cravings? Stop eating the sugar. If that is not a "well, duh" statement, I don't know what is. From what I read, there is no indication of how long it might last or if it will ever even go away. To me, there was a little undertone of there is no guarantee, but this is the best thing they know to say. Lovely! Not the message I was hoping to take away with me this beautiful, Sunday afternoon.
Nonetheless, I will keep plugging along with eating healthy and exercising daily. I am not the first person that has struggled with change and I certainly won't be the last. Yes, it is hard. Very hard some days. And no, "hard" is not the four letter word of the Bible, even though some people treat it like it is. I know that God desires for me to be healthy, even though it is hard getting there. 1 Corinthians 9:24b - Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. I am running to win! I will be victorious!!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Maybe Next Time - 101 days left
One week from today, my class will be getting together for our twenty year high school reunion in Atlanta. However, I will not be going. In fact, I have not been to a reunion since our five year reunion in 1996. Sure, I would love seeing my old friends from those days. After all, it has been so fun reconnecting with many of them and getting to know others better from the wonderful little thing we call facebook. In fact, one of the girls that I didn't really know at all in high school and have become friends with over the past couple of years through facebook, even emailed me today to see if I would be there. Yes, money has been much tighter for us these past couple of years too. But the honest reason I am not going is, I really just don't want people to see what I have become.
I know. I know. People can view pictures of me on facebook and see what I look like today. Now they can even read my blog and know how big I have turned out to be. Yet somehow walking into a reunion with all of my classmates seems to be a lot different than them just looking at a picture or reading about it on a computer. And because I am so very concerned about what people might say or think, I will miss another reunion and plan again on attending the next time around. What is so outrageous about all of this is, that if I went around and asked everyone attending my reunion next week, the truth of the matter is they are probably more concerned about what they look like than what I look like. The even scarier thought is maybe the one's who remember me from high school, but have not seen me in a very long time, expect me to look this way because of how I looked when we were in school together. I guess I won't know until I see them in another five years.
Why am I so afraid? I thought for sure by the time I was this age, I would be over what people thought about me. I wouldn't care if I had their approval or not. I would just be happy with me and who cares what they think. Yet none of those statements are true. I do care. I do care if I am accepted and that people think nice things about me. Yes, it would be nice if next weekend could be like the "Shallow Hal" movie and everyone who was truly beautiful inside would be shown to be beautiful outside as well. However, life is not a movie. People do judge a book by its cover.
Unfortunately, I have no nice resolve to offer. No sweet words to make it all better. Nothing grandiose to say that shows how I have overcome my appearance issues. I just really felt like I needed to be real about this today. And hopefully, it will serve as part of my healing once I share it as so many of my other post have. Please don't get me wrong, I have a lot of wonderful people in my class that would never be hateful or mean. Right now, I guess I just don't have it in me to face the few that would be.
I know. I know. People can view pictures of me on facebook and see what I look like today. Now they can even read my blog and know how big I have turned out to be. Yet somehow walking into a reunion with all of my classmates seems to be a lot different than them just looking at a picture or reading about it on a computer. And because I am so very concerned about what people might say or think, I will miss another reunion and plan again on attending the next time around. What is so outrageous about all of this is, that if I went around and asked everyone attending my reunion next week, the truth of the matter is they are probably more concerned about what they look like than what I look like. The even scarier thought is maybe the one's who remember me from high school, but have not seen me in a very long time, expect me to look this way because of how I looked when we were in school together. I guess I won't know until I see them in another five years.
Why am I so afraid? I thought for sure by the time I was this age, I would be over what people thought about me. I wouldn't care if I had their approval or not. I would just be happy with me and who cares what they think. Yet none of those statements are true. I do care. I do care if I am accepted and that people think nice things about me. Yes, it would be nice if next weekend could be like the "Shallow Hal" movie and everyone who was truly beautiful inside would be shown to be beautiful outside as well. However, life is not a movie. People do judge a book by its cover.
Unfortunately, I have no nice resolve to offer. No sweet words to make it all better. Nothing grandiose to say that shows how I have overcome my appearance issues. I just really felt like I needed to be real about this today. And hopefully, it will serve as part of my healing once I share it as so many of my other post have. Please don't get me wrong, I have a lot of wonderful people in my class that would never be hateful or mean. Right now, I guess I just don't have it in me to face the few that would be.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Can You Hear the Buzz? -102 days left
As I sit here this evening, I have a fly buzzing around my head every minute or two. I swat at it and miss. After it flies by, I don't see where it goes to until it decides to make another pass beside my head. Annoying. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Similar to how I feel about my progress today concerning my weight loss. Annoying. Always there, thoughts buzzing in my head about it, but very slow progress. Yeah, for three pounds of weight loss each week. However, I feel like it should be more. I'm not just eating much better and cutting out ALL of the junk. I am also exercising my butt off. Literally!! Yet instead of the song "We are the Champions" playing in my head today, it was "Baby's Got Back". And far too much back at that. Why can't I just smash all of these annoying thoughts just as I would like to smash the buzzing fly?
To add to my aggravation, I had to switch out my cardio workout today. My Biggest Loser 30 Day Jump Start video was due back at the library with no renewals, so I picked up The Firm Boost Your Metabolism and a Jillian Michaels Fat Blast video. Eight minutes into The Firm video, I turned it off because for me it was more like The Stand. Why? Because all I was doing was standing there watching the video. When they were talking about boosting someones metabolism, they must have meant people who have already been working out for the last 10 years of their life because the workout combination was so very difficult, I couldn't keep up. Since the image of Jillian Michaels from yesterday had somewhat diminished (you know when I was lying on the floor, gasping for air), I decided to give her video a shot. And to give you even more of an indication of how difficult The Firm was, Jillian Michaels video was actually easier, but still a challenging workout.
So I guess that today will go down as one of those days that, while it is good to have a strong will to do something, it is even better to have commitment. The strong will may waiver at times, but commitment is what will get me through the rough patches. I guess that is why I have heard motivational speakers say that you should write out what you want to do on a piece of paper and sign it. It mentally solidifies what you are looking to accomplish. Writing this blog has helped me to do that. I am committed to do my very best everyday and write about it each night because I made a written agreement with myself. I know it sounds silly, but it has been proven to work with setting all types of goals. So no matter how many thoughts may buzz around me, I committed. If I'm committed, I won't quit. And as my pastor reminds me often, "If I don't quit, I win!".
To add to my aggravation, I had to switch out my cardio workout today. My Biggest Loser 30 Day Jump Start video was due back at the library with no renewals, so I picked up The Firm Boost Your Metabolism and a Jillian Michaels Fat Blast video. Eight minutes into The Firm video, I turned it off because for me it was more like The Stand. Why? Because all I was doing was standing there watching the video. When they were talking about boosting someones metabolism, they must have meant people who have already been working out for the last 10 years of their life because the workout combination was so very difficult, I couldn't keep up. Since the image of Jillian Michaels from yesterday had somewhat diminished (you know when I was lying on the floor, gasping for air), I decided to give her video a shot. And to give you even more of an indication of how difficult The Firm was, Jillian Michaels video was actually easier, but still a challenging workout.
So I guess that today will go down as one of those days that, while it is good to have a strong will to do something, it is even better to have commitment. The strong will may waiver at times, but commitment is what will get me through the rough patches. I guess that is why I have heard motivational speakers say that you should write out what you want to do on a piece of paper and sign it. It mentally solidifies what you are looking to accomplish. Writing this blog has helped me to do that. I am committed to do my very best everyday and write about it each night because I made a written agreement with myself. I know it sounds silly, but it has been proven to work with setting all types of goals. So no matter how many thoughts may buzz around me, I committed. If I'm committed, I won't quit. And as my pastor reminds me often, "If I don't quit, I win!".
Thursday, June 2, 2011
My Biggest Loser Moment - 103 days left
Today I had my first Biggest Loser moment. Many of you who follow the show might be cheering right now because in your mind you're possibly thinking of last week when Olivia won at the finale and ended up weighing 132 lbs after beginning at the Biggest Loser ranch at 261 lbs giving her 129 lbs of weight loss. Unfortunately, victory is not the word that would sum up my Biggest Loser experience today, at least not totally. My Biggest Loser experience today was of another sort.
Today I decided to give myself a little bit of a break from my strict diet regimen that I have been on for over two weeks now. I supplemented popcorn as one of my snacks. Not too tragic. However, I became out of control with the popcorn and all of the butter I could pile on it and ended up eating probably four to five helpings. To further add to my "break", I decided to also splurge and have a White Turtle Mocha from Caribou Coffee this afternoon. It seemed like I hadn't had it in so very long and if I just had one today, I would be set for at least another two or three weeks. Eating and drinking both of these things were a GREAT delight. I am not going to lie to you. I liked it. Every moment. Every high calorie tasteful moment brought such joy and satisfaction. It was like the difference between going to a lake for your vacation opposed to going to Waikiki Beach for your vacation. Such bliss. Such utter enjoyment. Yum!
Then came my workout time a few hours later. This week has already been a challenge to me in that arena. I am not sure why. Perhaps I am getting better at the workouts and working harder while doing them? I am not sure. Now coupled with what was now in my digestive system was not a good combination. Each day I have been doing four, ten minute workouts: three of Dustin Maher's - one focusing on my legs and butt, one focusing on my arms, one focusing on my shoulders and back, and finishing up with the Biggest Loser 30 Day Jump Start cardio workout. And when I finished my legs and butt workout today, that is when it happened. I was sick to my stomach. Very sick to my stomach. Then I felt light headed. My face felt like it was completely asleep and numb. My hands were shaking. I rested for about five minutes then started the next workout. Two exercises into that video, I collapsed on the floor. And this ladies and gentlemen was my Biggest Loser moment of the day.
As I gasped for air, I imagined Jillian Michaels screaming in my face just as she does the contestants on the Biggest Loser show those first couple of weeks when they are falling off the treadmills and puking their guts out, "Are you going to quit? Get up! What are you waiting for! Get off the floor and finish the workout!". I called for my medic (aka. my eight year old son) and told him to wet a wash cloth with ice cold water, ring it out and bring it back to me. When he returned, my five year old and three year old followed. "Are you going to be OK mommy?", my five year old asked. I told them yes and that I just needed a break. I sent them back upstairs and I think I laid there for another 10 minutes or so. Not my most glamorous moment to say the least. Finally, I did get back up and finish the remainder of my workouts. A 45 minute workout routine took me a little over 90 minutes to finish.
After today, I am not sure that I will EVER eat popcorn or drink a Turtle from Caribou again. The best thing I have to say about all of it, is my five year old said, "We are proud of you mommy" when I was finished. The next best thing I have to say about it is I am happy I was not being filmed. I guess that I should also throw in that I am glad that I didn't die in front of my children today while their dad was not home. That can only happen on the days that he is here. :) Honestly, I am surprised that I got up off myself and actually finished my workout. In the past, I know I would have just given up and then pouted about it the rest of the day. My hope is that when I have my next Biggest Loser moment, I will have the opportunity to report something similar to Olivia's. However, today I will find victory in this Biggest Loser moment because I got up off the floor and kept going!
Today I decided to give myself a little bit of a break from my strict diet regimen that I have been on for over two weeks now. I supplemented popcorn as one of my snacks. Not too tragic. However, I became out of control with the popcorn and all of the butter I could pile on it and ended up eating probably four to five helpings. To further add to my "break", I decided to also splurge and have a White Turtle Mocha from Caribou Coffee this afternoon. It seemed like I hadn't had it in so very long and if I just had one today, I would be set for at least another two or three weeks. Eating and drinking both of these things were a GREAT delight. I am not going to lie to you. I liked it. Every moment. Every high calorie tasteful moment brought such joy and satisfaction. It was like the difference between going to a lake for your vacation opposed to going to Waikiki Beach for your vacation. Such bliss. Such utter enjoyment. Yum!
Then came my workout time a few hours later. This week has already been a challenge to me in that arena. I am not sure why. Perhaps I am getting better at the workouts and working harder while doing them? I am not sure. Now coupled with what was now in my digestive system was not a good combination. Each day I have been doing four, ten minute workouts: three of Dustin Maher's - one focusing on my legs and butt, one focusing on my arms, one focusing on my shoulders and back, and finishing up with the Biggest Loser 30 Day Jump Start cardio workout. And when I finished my legs and butt workout today, that is when it happened. I was sick to my stomach. Very sick to my stomach. Then I felt light headed. My face felt like it was completely asleep and numb. My hands were shaking. I rested for about five minutes then started the next workout. Two exercises into that video, I collapsed on the floor. And this ladies and gentlemen was my Biggest Loser moment of the day.
As I gasped for air, I imagined Jillian Michaels screaming in my face just as she does the contestants on the Biggest Loser show those first couple of weeks when they are falling off the treadmills and puking their guts out, "Are you going to quit? Get up! What are you waiting for! Get off the floor and finish the workout!". I called for my medic (aka. my eight year old son) and told him to wet a wash cloth with ice cold water, ring it out and bring it back to me. When he returned, my five year old and three year old followed. "Are you going to be OK mommy?", my five year old asked. I told them yes and that I just needed a break. I sent them back upstairs and I think I laid there for another 10 minutes or so. Not my most glamorous moment to say the least. Finally, I did get back up and finish the remainder of my workouts. A 45 minute workout routine took me a little over 90 minutes to finish.
After today, I am not sure that I will EVER eat popcorn or drink a Turtle from Caribou again. The best thing I have to say about all of it, is my five year old said, "We are proud of you mommy" when I was finished. The next best thing I have to say about it is I am happy I was not being filmed. I guess that I should also throw in that I am glad that I didn't die in front of my children today while their dad was not home. That can only happen on the days that he is here. :) Honestly, I am surprised that I got up off myself and actually finished my workout. In the past, I know I would have just given up and then pouted about it the rest of the day. My hope is that when I have my next Biggest Loser moment, I will have the opportunity to report something similar to Olivia's. However, today I will find victory in this Biggest Loser moment because I got up off the floor and kept going!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
The Commercial Crier - 104 days left
Around 2:00 today, seven doors down from my house, one half of a duplex exploded due to a gas leak. Thankfully, no one was there and none of the surrounding homes were damaged. At the time of the explosion, our entire house shook like we had been hit full force with something like a tank or semi truck. After walking around our home and checking all of the rooms to see what might of happened, nothing was different or out of place. I wanted to call 911 and tell them something had happened. Yet if I called them, what would I say? Our entire house just shook and we have no damage, but I know something has happened I just don't know where? Not very helpful. I might have ended up on something like Jay Leno one night featuring "Stupid 911 Calls". Within five minutes, multiple sirens were heard. Within thirty minutes, one local news station was already reporting on it. It seemed out of no where the destruction of that house happened with no warning.
Like the house, my life has been on a collision course for disaster. Yes, there is an outside sign of being overweight. However, you can't see inside of me with the natural eye. Without machines I cannot see what my heart, liver, stomach and other organs look like and know the shape they are in. Emotionally, no one could tell what I was going through. I have been like that house for many years feeling empty with an explosion about to happen just not knowing exactly when.
A week before I started my new regimen, I had gone to my doctor to be seen for depression. For the past month prior to that time, I had felt like my emotions were getting more and more out of control. I have always been a very emotional person. After having four children, I have become even more emotional and can now cry at things like commercials. I used to laugh at people who cried at commercials. Yet this is me now, the commercial crier. But this was different than just crying at commercials. It was far worse and I felt like I was getting more out of control with each passing day. So off to the doctor I went, thinking even though my baby was 10 months old maybe it was a post partum thing. My doctor listened to all I had to say. Wrote me out a "courtesy prescription" even though he thought more of what I needed was "a good counselor" as he said to nurse in the hallway and I was on my way. I did take the drugs for a few days, but I felt no change in how I was feeling so I just stopped. I felt fine with doing that because I didn't really feel like my doctor was really convinced that drugs is what I needed either. Please note: I think that doctors are wonderful and that God has given them much wisdom to help people with medications. If you are currently taking a medication for anything, DO NOT STOP. I am NOT advocating that. I am only sharing my experience in this particular situation.
Then the exercise and diet change happened. Since I starting taking care of my physical body, my emotional well being has improved astronomically. I haven't cried for no reason since I started and most everyday I have been happier than I remember being in years. I have spoken in a normal tone to my kids on most days and the yelling is down I would say at least 75% from where it was before. Also in the last 14 days, I have only wanted to tell my husband to go and take a long walk off a short pier two days instead of all fourteen.
It turns out that Elle Woods was right in the movie Legally Blonde. Remember when she was working on the defense team for a fellow Delta Nu named Brooke that had been accused of killing her husband? How did she explain to her colleagues that Brooke, who had made millions selling workout videos, couldn't have done it? She said, "I just don't think that Brooke could've done this. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't." Who knew? Exercise. The thing that most people hate and causes much pain can actually make you happy. Exercise might have been the very thing that will keep me from shooting my husband. ;) Allegedly, it can also not make you feel in pain
either, but I have not found that to be true so far.
The commercial crier has not left the building, but boy I am feeling so much better. I also lost 3 more pounds this week making me total weight lose 6 pounds. Two more pounds and I will have lost a years worth of weight gain over the last 12 years. Things are looking up for me. Endorphins are making me happy. In just fourteen days, my life is different. Boy will I be fabulous when I reach day 118!!!!
Like the house, my life has been on a collision course for disaster. Yes, there is an outside sign of being overweight. However, you can't see inside of me with the natural eye. Without machines I cannot see what my heart, liver, stomach and other organs look like and know the shape they are in. Emotionally, no one could tell what I was going through. I have been like that house for many years feeling empty with an explosion about to happen just not knowing exactly when.
A week before I started my new regimen, I had gone to my doctor to be seen for depression. For the past month prior to that time, I had felt like my emotions were getting more and more out of control. I have always been a very emotional person. After having four children, I have become even more emotional and can now cry at things like commercials. I used to laugh at people who cried at commercials. Yet this is me now, the commercial crier. But this was different than just crying at commercials. It was far worse and I felt like I was getting more out of control with each passing day. So off to the doctor I went, thinking even though my baby was 10 months old maybe it was a post partum thing. My doctor listened to all I had to say. Wrote me out a "courtesy prescription" even though he thought more of what I needed was "a good counselor" as he said to nurse in the hallway and I was on my way. I did take the drugs for a few days, but I felt no change in how I was feeling so I just stopped. I felt fine with doing that because I didn't really feel like my doctor was really convinced that drugs is what I needed either. Please note: I think that doctors are wonderful and that God has given them much wisdom to help people with medications. If you are currently taking a medication for anything, DO NOT STOP. I am NOT advocating that. I am only sharing my experience in this particular situation.
Then the exercise and diet change happened. Since I starting taking care of my physical body, my emotional well being has improved astronomically. I haven't cried for no reason since I started and most everyday I have been happier than I remember being in years. I have spoken in a normal tone to my kids on most days and the yelling is down I would say at least 75% from where it was before. Also in the last 14 days, I have only wanted to tell my husband to go and take a long walk off a short pier two days instead of all fourteen.
It turns out that Elle Woods was right in the movie Legally Blonde. Remember when she was working on the defense team for a fellow Delta Nu named Brooke that had been accused of killing her husband? How did she explain to her colleagues that Brooke, who had made millions selling workout videos, couldn't have done it? She said, "I just don't think that Brooke could've done this. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't." Who knew? Exercise. The thing that most people hate and causes much pain can actually make you happy. Exercise might have been the very thing that will keep me from shooting my husband. ;) Allegedly, it can also not make you feel in pain
either, but I have not found that to be true so far.
The commercial crier has not left the building, but boy I am feeling so much better. I also lost 3 more pounds this week making me total weight lose 6 pounds. Two more pounds and I will have lost a years worth of weight gain over the last 12 years. Things are looking up for me. Endorphins are making me happy. In just fourteen days, my life is different. Boy will I be fabulous when I reach day 118!!!!
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